Quick Story #1: Happy Canada Day

Quick Story: I went to safeway today to get stuff for the bbq tomorrow and needed a cart. I didn't have a quarter though, and I really didn't want to lug around 30 chicken wings, 2 boxes of burger patties and 40 pounds of other stuff for an hour. I waited at the customer service lady to finish up with the person in front of me and handed her a $5.

"Can I get change please, quarters for the cart." I said.

"Oh no that's ok, I'll lend you a quarter..." (as she opens the cash register and hands me a quarter) "...just return it here when you're finished with it."

I thought how cool it was that she would just 'lend' me a quarter from the Safeway till on promise from a stranger to return a quarter. It was a long ways down to my car and it would mean walking all the way back upstairs (Safeway on Robson), returning the quarter, and looping around to the exit and going back downstairs to the parkade, it was a good 2 minute trip to return a quarter. I took it, thanked her and shopped away.

I was picking out an apple when I thought about how lucky we were, to live in a community (and society) as trusting as ours. Recently back from China, you couldn't trust your wallet in your pocket. A friend of ours told us that he had his $2000 SLR Canon camera in a case behind him walking through Beijing. When he got home to take out his camera, he found a bag full of stones instead. They'd lifted his camera and counter weighed it. He never even felt anything. It's definitely something we take for granted at home.



After I loaded the watermelon and ice cream and the rest of the bags in my car, I did the 2 minute trip and returned the quarter. Happy Canada Day!

The higher the water, the higher the boat

I saw a report this weekend that said "50% of N. Americans say they're dissatisfied with their jobs." I hear this alot from my friends too (and unfortunately, there are more days than not that I'm a part of the 50%.)

Being unhappy at work has nothing to do with the work available or what you're doing. It has everything to do with your fear and inability to decide to go after what you want because at the end of the day (literally) your happiness has everything to do with how you'd spent that day. "Economic uncertainty is the perfect opportunity to seize control of your career, why? Because you have little to lose. You know everything you need to know now, but what you don't have is the ability to make a decision in the face of uncertainty." stated the report. It's fear, it's scary to dive into something unknown or different. But to change is to progress, especially if your unhappy right now. It's a big challenge.

To have progress, you have to suck first. The single best lesson is that you have to learn that there is no right choice, no right decision, no right path in the beginning. All decisions have opportunities, and all opportunities have a chance of success. Pick the one that seems the most interesting and run with it, make the best of it. Once it opens up and you learn more, you'll be able to decide if it is the right choice, but without change or action, it's a 100% failure rate.
Starting over is risky no? Off of your comfort zone, off the familiar path into uncharted territory. Lets look at the risks in your life. Your risk is that you will have to lose what you have, is it all that much? Imagine you shifted your focus on 'the opportunity that existed' as opposed to 'losing what you have' if you changed your life. Is it possible that the true risk is continuing your life as is? Most people get complacent and end up lowering their life standards due to comfort and contentment. The ambition that they once had to climb the corporate ladder, to innovate new ideas, to start new ventures...those all fade away with the unhappy daily grind that one accepts as a result of the fear of change. What do you risk losing if you do not change? Your energy, your enthusiasm, your dreams. Your greatest risk now, is the status quo, what society looks on as safe is now what you look at as safe. Comfort trumps change, even though the 'comfort' you are experiencing now is the dumps.

A new life is calling for you! Don't be scared of change but welcome it with the happiness that new possibilities are around the corner. When you look at a task with happiness, it turns into something you want to do (as much as you don't want to do it) and it makes your passage smoother. Something else I'd read: "Difficult situations should be faced with courage and joy, the higher the water, the higher the boat."

Something I heard

I just got back from China and there were 2 things I'd heard there that really stuck with me.

I was in a scripture store where the artist himself worked out of. He was a student of Confucious and he did a painting of a man on top of a rocky mountain, fishing off of the cliff into air. There was no water, no fish, but he sat there with his bamboo rod and string hanging off the side of the cliff. The painting had the chinese characters "Goh Shan Chui Diu" which means 'high mountain fishing'. The meaning of it though was that no matter the outcome, the end, you should always enjoy the journey along the way. The fisherman knew he wasn't going to get fish at the top of the mountain, but he enjoyed the climb and view along the way, so it wasn't a wasted journey regardless of his outcome. If we're able to enjoy the process as much as the outcome (the design and fabrication of fashion as well as the finished beauty of the end product, the cruise in your car along the highway as well as reaching your destination, the run along the seawall as well as the physically fit body), if we can enjoy the journey, then we'll be happy all of the time.

I liked the meaning so much I had the calligrapher write those 4 characters for me on a scroll.

On the plane ride back, I was watching a chinese movie, where they're dressed in armor and fighting with swords on horseback. Crouching Tiger styles. Leon Lai (Lai Ming) was one of the actors in the movie. He was the last remaining warrior of his clan and now lived in solitude in the forest until he ran across a Princess who was being attacked by her enemies. He saved her, though she was shot with a poison arrow. He took her back to his camp and when she awoke he showed her around. He was building a blimp, to carry him high above the forest and so that he could fly. In those days, people coudln't fly yet and he was trying a new idea. She said to him "You're such a dreamer, you're never going to fly" and he said back "Men need to dream, before dreams come true."

Keep dreaming, and one day your dreams will come true. (it takes action too though!!) Enjoy the journey, enjoy life right now, at this exact moment that you are living it, because it doesnt ever get any better than the present moment...and find inspiration anywhere and everywhere, from a little old calligraphy shop to movies that you watch.

woah!

It’s been a busy last 2 months since I started my new job. I used to slack at work allot because I had so much free time. I’d have time to do other things, like…play organize the hockey team, make weekend plans, do my banking, read some books…all non-work related. Now at my new job, I’m busy from start of day to end of day. Which is good…makes my day go by a lot faster, but now I have to do all my personal stuff at home! On my own personal time! Wth! =P

The last 2 months I’ve been going out a lot. Way too much for my liking, but its fun. I’ve seen a lot of old friends again, after a long hiatus. Made some new friends, met some interesting people. All the fun stuff that happens when you step out of your hermitdom. I’ve been a “yes” man for a while, like Jim Carrey. I joined Pilates at my work gym. I’ve run the Sun Run and I’m running in the Underwear Affair marathon in 2 months (Cancer research fundraiser for cancer below the waist. Pledge me!) I’ve gone to Vegas and I’m going to China this week. It’s funny all the things that you don’t do when you’re in a relationship. Though it’s been a while since I’ve just chilled at home and watched a movie or gone out to a nice dinner at a new restaurant (on a date). Funny the things you don’t do when you’re single.

All in all, I have to say…it’s been fun and the summers not even here yet.

Twitterblog: 2.5 weeks is Over

So it's over...I'm bittersweet sad about it. Tomorrow I start my new job.

TBC...

The Dating Game

Soooo...I'm single.

It feels almost blasphemic to say those words. For so long, it was pounded into my head that I was not available, that I was in a committed relationship with someone and thou shalt not lookest at other Godesses. After half a decade of being with one girl, I'd forgotten alot of things about being single. Here's a list of the things I'd forgotten about The Dating Game:

1) The rules havn't changed...unlike technology, that changes every 18 months, you'd upgrade your PC or risk not being able to support MSFT's new blue screen, the rules to dating have not changed at all. there's still the 2 day rule for calling, the weekday date and you level up to the weeknight date. then if you're REALLY special, you get a weekend date. There's still the 'my friend likes you' the 'what are you drinking' and the 'hi my name is...' but now, instead of giving phone numbers, everyone's exchanging blackberry pin's.

2) When you date, you're searching. It's like 510 Flavors of Gelato. You walk in, do you pick the wasabi green ginger ice cream right away? No. You ask for a taste and they give you one of those little tiny plastic spoons with a chunk of ice cream. You taste it and you decide if you like it or not. I decide that I will pass on wasabi green ginger ice cream today. Can I try some lime lemon sorbet? And so on, until you have the flavor that you like and then you say "Give me more of that. I like that." So now you walk out of the Gelato place, happy as a clam in high tide with the ice cream of your choice. You're confident that the choice you made is the right one because you've tried the rest, now you're with the best. Isn't dating the same? You go on one or two dates, figure out that the guy who you thought was soooOOOooo funny was really just drunk that day or that the girl who you thought was really deep because you philosophised about the meaning of life on the first date just turned out to be really not-smart (PC for dumb) and was really just asking alot of questions for real and not just rhetorically.

3) It sucks when one person likes the other person more. The difference with People-People relationships (vs People-Ice Cream) is that it goes both ways. While you don't think they are a match for you, they might think they are. I had a chat with a friend over dinner tonight and I'd said to her that her relationship is great because they both cared and liked and obsessed over each other in the same 'level'. While sometimes one liked the other more, it was never a large gap so all that was done, was appreciated. All good things were seen as good. All positive intentions were seen as for what they were. The problem comes when one person likes the other way more, like on a scale of 1-10, one person likes the other 8 and the other just feels a 3. So now, all that was done, is not appreciated. All good things will be seen as annoying. All positive intentions will be seen negatively. The 20 text messages a day turn from "aw he cares about what i'm doing and can't stop thinkin about me" to "oh damn she's totally blowing up my phone and being obsessive." The hour long phone calls go from "i can't stop talking to you cuz i love the sound of your voice" to "Oh damn. i got so much to do and this is totally killing my time." It's funny how feelings can change perspectives, but perspectives don't change feelings. (booya that was deep. think on that one for a second.)

4) That the grass is always greener. How many times have you heard this one? When you're in a relationship, there's times when you just want your own time, your own things, your own life. You feel like a babysitter, a gaurdian, a driver, a call center help line, a therapist. You feel like you have to think for 2 all the time, that you have no say in your own life. You wish for greener pastures, for the wide open space to run around in and do your own thing whatever it may be. But when you're single, there are times when you long for someone to care for, to cherish. You want to be a gaurdian, you want someone to call you, to open up to you. The time you have now seems too much. The wide open space is too vast, too empty for one person. I guess the perfect relationship would have a bit of everything and not just too much of one. Your life, my life and our life, all proportioned perfectly to both persons liking. I guess when you want the greener grass on the other side of the fence, it means that you're in the wrong field to begin with. I'm sure there's a plot of land out there that's just green enough for me, and when I find it, there will be no greener grass. (I'm sure my future girlfriend would love to see that I called her a plot of land.)

5) That if you don't look, they'll come along in their own time.

VICTORYYYY!

Yesterday was my last day at work. I was laid off 7 working days ago when my boss asked me to step into his office and proceeded to tell me all the reasons how it wasn't me, it was him...and how maybe there would be a possibility for us to work together again in the future, that right now it was just bad timing and that he just couldn't afford to pay me anymore (wow, that sounded like how I've ended relationships). Of course, just as my ex's do when I tell them that, I freaked out a bit. I cried. I fetal'd up and rocked back and forth for an hour or so...in the dark. It was kind of sadly funny, because the day before, I'd hurt my foot running around the seawall. Something called Plantar Fasciitis (wiki: Plantar fasciitis is a syndrome of heel pain due to inflammation of the thick ligament of the base of the foot. A tight, inflamed plantar fascia can cause pain when walking or running, and lead to the formation of a heel spur. ) And that morning, it was nice out but it'd started raining heavily during the day. So here I was, freshly laid off, limping home in the rain with no umbrella. I could almost hear the violins, serenading my tragedy.

That was it though. When I'd gotten home from the walk, I'd let all my anger, sadness and negativity out already. It'd washed away with the rain dripping down my temples. I let myself go for a bit, I let myself wander and lose all hope, to be really sad, to be really angry and be the victim for a bit. I told myself I was screwed, I told myself it was the end, that I was done. It felt good. It felt like a relief to be a victim, to know that there was nothing you could do and that you just had to accept what was. But once the feeling subsided, it never came back. It's funny how that works. When my ex and I broke up, I'd run into some random things and feelings welled up inside of me. Memories flooded my mind and I'd get emotional about it. But the next time I'd run into the random thing, the feelings never came back. It was a one time thing. I think from that, I'd learned that if you hold things in, push it to the back of your head, it never goes away. But if you let it take you over and control you for a powerful short time, it will leave you and never come back.

I made a few calls. I applied at a few places. I broke it down to one small step at a time, one doable task at a time, leaving my doomsday thoughts out of it, but just concentrating on one step at a time. Today I had my final interview with a company and throughout this week, I'd had several. I have 3 offer letters in front of me, all equally attractive. I had a CEO come into the 2nd interview and try to close me on why I should work for his company. I had a Director challenge me in foosball on my way out because he wanted to show me how great of a culture his company had. This last 7 days have been amazingly busy but well worthwhile. Now, I'll have a week or so off of work (a mini vacation!! woo!) and my pick of futures to walk towards.

In the words of Johnny Drama, VICTORRRYYYY!!! And like Drama, I couldn't have done it without my friends. They kept me up, they kept me motivated and they let me know that I really wasn't that screwed. ;) Thank you.